Dear ShakeUp Team,
Congrats on mornings — I found you guys in December and have listened every morning since you started. I’ve felt like I needed to get some advice for a while but typically you guys just tell people what they already know is true. I figure my situation is a little different so here goes…
Three years ago when I was still in college at Howard U, I had an experience that scared the shit out of me. For as long as I can remember I have been in love with the ladies. I may have been a man whore for a little while, but who hasn’t gone through the hoe phase? Forever I’ve always known that I wanted a family, kids, a wife and the good life. Good money, maybe an exec or entrepreneur and my house two kids and a dog. So… Three years ago Me and my best friend got drunk and had messed around. We nearly had sex and we did all types of gay shit that I never imagined myself doing. It’s been so long I can’t even remember how it got started, but what I have never forgotten is how much it got me thinking about how gay shit ain’t that abnormal. I feel like if an experience like that can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.
The only reason I’m hitting yall up is because it’s three years later and occasionally I still think about the fact that I should’ve probably went all the way to see if I would’ve liked it. Maybe it’s the lil freak still in me? But I got a girlfriend. We’re happy. I love her, and want to get married in a year or so. I don’t want to marry no man or have no kids with a man or none of that shit, but I’m hella curious. I ain’t no Bruce Jenner, I don’t think I’m gay but I’m so damn confused when I get those occasional feelings I don’t even know who to tell. I’ve downloaded some gay chat apps and occasionally chat with men in the area, but never pursue anything because I’m faithful to my girl. I feel like if I tell my girl she’ll freak and won’t understand. Nobody knows. So it’s clear, I need some advice. Go easy on me.