My husband and I have been married two years; I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first child. We are both really happy.
He was married once before and has an almost child from that marriage. He and his ex have a tricky relationship. But we both basically adore his child, who lives with us part-time.
The other night we were sharing a moment (baby kicks) when my husband said: “You know I love Tierra, but knowing we made “this new baby” together makes me love her in a whole other way.” I understood he meant to be sweet, loving and romantic, but days later I am left with this horrified feeling — that he loves one child more than the other, that he ties his love for his children at least partly to how he feels about their mother, and I feel like I should’ve checked him on the spot. I know I should have said something to discourage him from thinking or talking that way from now on.
I told my friend whose father is remarried with younger kids, and she said this isn’t newsworthy, that fathers always feel that way when they remarry, and the best ones just work very hard to not obviously prioritize the children of their current marriages. Understanding that this cant be true for all fathers, do you think there’s any truth to this? Since I find it horrifying, what, if anything, can I do to advocate for my stepchild?