My mom and I have had a tumultuous and toxic relationship ever since I was a child. It was a mess of bitter resentment, jealousy, explosive fights, abuse and disappointment on both sides.
It has taken some time, space and, of course, some therapy (I participated, she did not), but we have gone a year without an incident.
Now that I am a mother myself, I have found some understanding, healing and forgiveness.
Our relationship is the best that it has ever been, but she has always been disappointing when I needed her.
Now I have a huge opportunity for us to bond and for her to be there for me like the mother I have always wanted and needed.
My second child is due in a month. I always said she would be the last person I’d want with me in the delivery room, but I now think I want her there.
Should I give her the chance? She missed helping me with prom, my wedding, the birth of my first son. If it goes well it will strengthen our relationship; if it doesn’t — more therapy, I guess?